Breaking Barriers:How to Be Comfortable in a Interracial Relationship
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Love has no color right?
Interracial Relationships still continue to be a sad topic of conversation in society today. Whether the reason be immoral or just plan disgusting that two people have decided not to stay within their own race, people continue to disagree with two races merging. I've been in a interracial relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years and I wouldn't change if for the world. However, it wasn't easy at first. I was nervous and worried that because of my skin color, my boyfriend's family would view me differently. By following these methods below, I became more comfortable and his family too with the acceptance of their son dating someone of a different race
Be True To Yourself
When I first met my boyfriend's family, I instantly got the vibe that I was not what they were expecting. I was the first black person to be brought into their household and on top of that, the first black person for their child to date. To make myself feel less inferior, I told them about myself. Being honest is the key to make a situation like this less stressful. By telling them about myself, it showed them that I was not just a color, that I was a person like everyone else.
Share Your Culture
My family whenever we have get togethers always have a big meal of meats. It's a known fact, not by stereotypes alone, that the black community loves meat. When going to my boyfriend's side of the family, I had to adjust to the setting of not having a lot of meat with every meal. To make myself fit in better, I offered to bring a dish to every family event. By doing this, it made me feel like I had a place within the family without completely depriving myself and also to show his family the variety of cooking styles and seasonings my side of the family has.
Also, I would bring recordings of staged productions from black actors and actresses in Saint Louis. By doing showing his family these plays, It opened up a different outlook on my culture as well myself.
Communicate Your Issues
The best way to be on the same page with someone is to communicate. I knew coming into this relationship there would be confusion and curiosity. To make myself feel more comfortable, I talked to my boyfriend's family about our relationship in regards to race. By breaking down this barrier of superficial beliefs and unanswered questions, it helps both parties figure out why discomfort was present or if it wasn't present, what to do to prevent a issue like this coming up in the future.
Don't Give Up Hope..Keep Trying!
Being in an interracial relationship can be difficult at times. You are dealt with misunderstandings and false beliefs. Hopefully these methods give you a little insight on adjusting better in your relationship. Don't give up and keep pushing forward. If things don't work out, keep trying. Just because you are of a different race, doesn't mean you are not worthy to be with the person you are with. Everyone deserves love no matter what color you are.
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Thank you for the compliment! I agree it is an important subject to write. Its a great strain when people try to just focus on the race instead of the beauty within a person.
So true, and I meant to tell you that you two are such a cute couple, you look like an advertisement for a dating site!
Awww Thank You! That means alot. It was hard for me to adjust to the relationship. Not because of the fact that he was white, It was because his family was not so friendly about black people. His family was a middle class, white, republican family while I cam from a lower class, black, democratic family lol
This is a good hub.
Nice helpful suggestions. I LOVE LOVE your portrait photo with you and your boyfriend - a lovely shot! I was uncomfortable in various ways when I entered into my first interracial relationship and now that we've been married 5 years I still find myself encountering awkward situations and feelings. Very helpful to be able to read about how others have dealt with their experiences in this area. Thank you,
I'm reading "just don't marry one" now and I too wrote a hub about interracial relationship I agree with you but I would also add: Don't try too hard to fit in as with any relationship it takes time to get truly comfortable with another. But love will conquer all a love based on mutual understanding that is. Love, joy faith and happiness to you and your mate!!!
It sucks that blacks are always made to prove themselves to white people but whites feel no obligation to prove themselves to blacks.
Whites put black people through "the test" everyday. We have experienced it so often we don't even identify with what is truly happening.
Whites are saying emphatically we are superior to you and you have to prove you are on our level.
Institutionalized racists evil.
I can't tell you how many times someone white put me through "the test"....like I'm some kinda stray dog and they gotta make sure I'm safe enough to bring around their precious white women and children.
Pffffff.
I'm all for love but the whole white test thing makes me really angry.
White people really believe they are better than anyone black.
You already know that had you been white sista they would not have put that white girl through that krap.
I'm all for love. Real love sees color because color is beautiful.
That's all I have to say about that.
Thanks for your tasteful and thorough treatement of this subject. I married a woman who was not just another color, but from another country. It caused a lot of issues with my family. My father refused to come to the wedding because she's Hispanic, and my mother wouldn't come because he wouldn't come. Some of my siblings were nice about it, and some of them were terrible. Ultimately, I made up my mind to marry her and worry about the family later. It's my life and my love, not theirs.
Everyone is different no matter what race, origin, or culture he/she comes from.
People need to stop discriminating and realize that we are all here on this same planet together.
I am a black male but I ignore the true or false belief that I have nothing in common with white people, foreigners, or people of my own race.
I am indeed an outsider because I don't act the way an average black person does. I may be accused of acting like a white person even though I am not white. So, that explains why I am the person I am.
I can look past different races mainly because I was brought up and raised around white people, black people, and others at an early age.
People who live, reside, and or associate with those of their own race may have difficulty building a connection with those of other races. However, people in mixed race communities may not.
elisabethkcmo 2 years ago
Great hub, an important subject to write about.
My late husband's parents were a mixed couple,(married in the late 40's) Their love and devotion for each other and their children made all the difference. So we had great role models for our own interracial marraige.